Affirmation by Susan Leonard

I recently read that lack of affirmation is the number one reason people quit their jobs. Conversely, people who receive affirmation at least once a day live an average of 10 years longer. We all love to be affirmed–to feel that what we are doing is making a difference.

So why do we wait to affirm people? Are we too busy, or are we threatened in some way? Do we withhold affirmation from others because we don’t get enough ourselves?

We need to be affirmed regularly, each step along the way, especially when the going looks tough or we feel unsure or shaky. Affirmation after the fact often comes too late, and affirmation that comes late is like no affirmation at all. The individual is already discouraged or has lost the wind that moves him forward.

When my kids were little, I affirmed them to get them started on a project, and I affirmed when they finished the project. But I know I often missed the most important affirmation of all–affirming them DURING the project.

How many times do we fail to finish a project because it doesn’t seem to matter to anyone? We all long to make a difference by what we do. Affirmation can make the difference and give others the reason to keep going and finish well.

In the past, I have fallen into the trap of thinking I don’t need others to affirm me, because Christ is the reason I do what I do. I can still fall into that trap. But let’s be honest. The real reason I don’t tell others that I need regular affirmation is because I don’t want to appear weak and needy.

I need affirmation to know that I am on the right track. I need affirmation to stay the course. I need for others to believe in me and cheer me on.

In turn, I want to be a cheerleader encouraging others while they run the race set before them. I want to run alongside screaming, “You can do it! Don’t give up!”

I dream of a world where we actively affirm and encourage one another all the time, right now in the moment. Marriages would be happy, and families would stay together; workers would be excited to go to work; churches would be exploding, and people would be healthier.

Why do we get so complacent in marriage and life that we stop affirming and working at our relationships? I’m challenged and convicted to affirm regularly those who I am blessed to have in my life. How about you? Who can you affirm today?